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Every year for the Christmas party, I make up a poem which I read while I give away presents. This is the Christmas 1999 poem:

 

(Christmas is that time of the year when we want our past forgotten but our presents remembered)

 

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all throughout CompuClub’s house

Not a computer was humming, everything was silent, even the mouse

When from the hard drives there came such a clatter,

To the server room we ran to see what was the matter.

The monitor cleared, then flashed red and green,

As everyone gathered around the machine.

 

At that very moment, everyone started to cheer

As VGA graphics of Dennis mounting a reindeer,

Appeared In a PowerPoint file that suddenly spinned up the drive

The presentation was called: Christmas for Windows 95.

 

The computer started buzzing and the icons were hopping,

There was no doubt: Dennis had done some last-minute Internet shopping.

But wait, the goodies came along with some verse

Everybody thought: it could be a lot worse

 

Now listen, I know what you do is stressful

Of learning and teaching your life is quite full

So next time a triple you will pull

Listen to some music, it is very cool

 

But before I begin let me explain

Some of those words are completely insane

So I will proceed alphabetically

That's the only way to do it, I’ll say emphatically

 

Certainly one day you came late to our school

And had to face Abdul

He will make you learn the rule

Don’t make him look like a fool

 

So Abdul the next time you go out for a date

Take this CD with you even if you’re late

You will be quite a sensation

Its’ music from the Temptations!

 

When I needed someone to do my books

Amy is the one who took me off the hooks

At accounting she became an expert

At crunching numbers, she’s very alert

 

Amy it has been clear from the day of your start

That to work here you need to be very smart

But in addition you have to deal with my mood

Overall wouldn’t you say it’s been very good

 

If you’re in Gaithersburg to check in for a class

You can turn to Becky, she has a lot of... class

But did you know after work she takes care of her horse

If she rode her to work, it would be a lot worse

 

But Becky what you need is not a stallion

A Bronco will not help with your situation

Living alone is not that funny

Get yourself a nice guy instead of a pony

 

What I will say next you should not hear

But if what you want is a new career

I would advise that you talk to Bonnie

She will find you a job with lots of money

 

But Bonnie if one day you’re teaching Job Hunting

And a vice-president is attending

And you hear about a job at Net2K

Remember that with Dennis it is not OK!

 

When a student comes to practice a new skill

Carlisa is the one they are trying to kill

She can teach you the fine art of clicking

As well as all the intricacies of typing

 

But Carlisa I know there will always be some student

Who in your time will make quite a dent

So next time someone comes in your laboratory

Listen to this songs and you won’t be sorry

 

If you want to learn Microsoft Access

I recommend Dan for your success

Of forms and tables he will make sense

And without ever making you tense

 

So Dan the next time you go to the Herndon center

And on the Beltway you can barely enter

This I am sure will improve your commute

The music in this CD I find very cute

 

If for a class you are in a bind

Darryl is the one that often comes to mind

When he’s here it’s usually at night

And for sure he does the job right

 

Now Darryl next time you stay here late

Making copies at a very high rate

If suddenly the copier is jamming

Put on this CD and you too will be jamming

 

Our newest recruit is Dean

In Herndon he can be seen

He is our newest salesman

Personally, I think he is superman

 

Now if you want to learn some software

Or even dabble with the hardware

Dean is the guy you should see for a contract

No kidding: that’s just a fact

 

If one day you need help with Quicken

I’d recommend you try the lab with Karen

So next time you go to 13 321 New Hampshire

To meet her you should really make sure

 

So Karen you want to be a teacher

It is true that everyday you’ve gotten better

In this endeavor I want to wish you the best

Listen to this when you get some rest

 

If you want to enjoy a class like a party

You should go to one taught by Katy

You go to her class and you feel bouncy

Her teaching techniques are very fancy

 

If you want to learn Excel

Katy can show you the secret of the cell

And if for your computer you need a trick

Katy’s class is the one to pick

 

From the heart of Moscow comes our technician

With computers, he’s a magician

Sometimes we call him Lenin

I think he once fixed things for the Kremlin

 

Now Len this is America

You are no longer in Siberia

There was little doubt when making my shopping list

I would get you something made by the Communists

 

The next time you happen to stop by Herndon

You will see Margaret getting a lot done

Everybody knows she’s accomplished a lot

So at managing I gave her a shot

 

Margaret I know that sometimes it is tough

Managing no doubt can be rough

So at night when time to go home it is

You can listen to those hits from the seventies

 

If you want to know who here sets the rules

You should look no further than our lobby

Here this is Maria’s territory

Don’t listen to her and you’ll look like a fool

 

Maria I know that sometimes I’ll get on your nerves

Which is something you don’t always deserve

So please accept this present

To apologize for my temperament

 

If you want to show that at spreadsheets you are the best

Olga may ask you to pass a test

She makes sure that if you are learning

You will be good, at least in Silver Spring

 

But Olga I know that sometimes it is hard

After all you have to work with Richard

So to make sure you are not sad

I give you this CD: Felice Navidad

 

If one day you stay late at night

You may see Richard working until daylight

Up to now I thought that was fine,

Until I found out: he was on a chat line

 

But to help you spend more time with your kids and your wife

In other words to help you get a life

I chose this CD I am sure Sarah and Michael will enjoy

In no time it will be their favorite toy

 

If one day a class you want to confirm

Call Sheenita she will be firm

At the front desk she is the queen

Everybody knows what that mean

 

But Sheenita now you have a boy

Of course I could have brought you a toy

No doubt that Austin will listen well

When he hears the songs of “Jingle Bell”

 

If you’re working hard to improve your web page

You should see Teresa in Herndon she’s the rage

Nobody should try to dabble with graphic

Unless you see her: she’s quite terrific

 

Now you tell me your weekends you spend in a plane

I tell you what: you must be insane

So next time you get ready to go up in the air

Listen to these greek songs with the wind in your hair.

 

If you’re a student and you like our class

What would be better than to buy a Year Pass?

Undecided you say, please go see Terrence

He’s the one to see if you’re on the fence

 

Terrence I know that selling is quite hard

So I want to give you this CD instead of a Xmas card

Enjoy it and make sure you relax

Winton Marsalis as you know is the king of sax

 

If you need somebody with patience

Because of word processing you’d want to learn the science

To Tonya you can go and learn Microsoft Word

Anybody will tell you: you won’t get bored

 

Tonya for your kids Christmas is fun

But for adults it is sometimes overdone

This CD you can listen with joy

But the red nosed reindeer you’ll have to enjoy

 

Hey listen all, there is something I’d like to make clear

And that’s sometimes I am a pain in the rear

Working with me sometimes can be painful

And I apologize for being such a fool

 

I hope no one gets mad

As you know I did not mean to be bad

In fact I came here for no other reason

Than to give you the spirit of the season

 

But as all of us know in this school

There’s nobody here that is not cool

All of us, whether manager or teacher

And it’s only gonna get better

 

This is Xmas, Of course I did not forget

A CD does not replace a paycheck

First enjoy this party

And on your paycheck there is some gravy

 

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